So not only do I have this huge decision to make, but I kinda have to make it soon. While it is true that I have received some great advice for the very few friends I have confided in, I still can't bring myself to actually sit down and think about what I am going to do. I fill my head with thoughts of work and my trip to NYC this summer, heck I even think about cute boys that work in my building, all to avoid sitting down and really deciding what I am going to do. I spoke to my therapists and I am getting the feeling that she thinks I am avoiding thinking about it because I already made a decision. She thinks that the moment I realized a decision had to be made, i made it. I think she is right.
I must also say here and out loud that the era of Crys and Vin is over. It is weird to even think that let alone type it out. While even I allow myself, on occasion, to get swept up into our story it is time to move on. Geez there are countless films that tell us the story of the girl and boy who knew each other inside and out, where friends forever, that despite all of the ups and downs found their way back to each other. Well this is a little true, I imagine that Vin and I will always find our way back to each other however I also know that we will always allow ourselves to be torn apart again. The truth is I don't know if this is the 'master plan' I do know that it would have all been different if we had made different choices early on. It seems that at the most we are willing to really fight for us when there is the possibility that we will be out of each others lives completely. The big problem in us learning to live with just being friends is that it is going to take a lot of getting over time. And by getting over I mean a break, we need distance and to be out of each others lives for a bit. That is the hard part. I just want us to be able to skip the the getting over part and just be friends, that is ridiculous I know. So instead I will work this summer, work at getting over him. Thankfully I have big things on the horizons to keep me from dwelling on him for too long.
Now the topic I really must talk about, a little over a month ago my neighbor not so subtly informed me that she was able to hear my overnight buddy and I. Know what i'm saying? We were loud. Anyway since then I swear she has tried to be just as loud as I was that night. In the past three weeks I have heard horrible 90's 'do me music' and muffled moans coming from her place. The thing is I've lived next to this girl for two years, and those entire two years she has had the same boyfriend, this never happened before. I will admit I have on occasion heard a boys II men songs coming from her place in the middle of the night but now all of a sudden its like hey look at me I'm doing it and its hotter than when you do it. Anyway it would be extremely funny if it wasn't cutting into my sleep time and now the bitch must die. Or I guess i'll just live with it for the next month or so, seeing as how I am pretty sure I will be moving to a different apartment this summer.
Forgive how all over the place this post is. I'm a little all over the place right now.
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