so the truth is I wanted it. I wanted it bad. I was at the point that I didn't care about what the outcome would be as long as I had it. But I won't so....it is helping being away. I am enjoying the work I am doing however I would be lying if I didn't say that part of the draw is being away and having the freedom to mourn my loss. It would be ridiculous to say anything now of course so instead I need to find a way to deal on my own without feeling as though I have to pretend. the problem is of course at home no one really knows so I felt as though I was lying to everyone. At least now I can feel it, cry about and hopefully begin to deal with it.
On a positive note, I kinda love New York City. yup its true. I'm in love with the Institute and the amazing people I have meet. Even with all of this I have to admit I miss some of my Texas people, I wish I could tell them that.
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